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When Your Ex Is Dragging Out Your Divorce 

E. Gordon Peters, Jr., Attorney at Law  July 23, 2024

Divorce is inherently stressful. It affects you emotionally, financially, and legally. Things become even more challenging when your ex deliberately drags out the divorce process. For Virginia residents dealing with this difficult dynamic—understanding the legal process, potential pitfalls for delays or disputes, and effective strategies for moving forward can make a significant difference. 

With years of experience in family law, E. Gordon Peters, Jr., Attorney at Law, understands the unique challenges that come with a prolonged divorce process. His compassionate approach combined with his extensive legal knowledge provides clients with not only skilled legal representation but also the emotional support needed during such a turbulent time.

Whether dealing with a contentious ex-spouse or child custody disputes, Gordon is dedicated to helping clients in Lynchburg and Blackstone, Virginia, and throughout Amherst County, Campbell County, Bedford County, Nottoway County, Prince Edward County, and Charlotte County, achieve a fair and timely resolution to their divorce cases.  

This guide aims to provide practical advice and strategies to help you better understand the divorce process and mitigate any unnecessary disputes and delays during this difficult time. 

The Legal Dynamics in a Virginia Divorce

In Virginia, divorces can be prolonged for several reasons, largely due to the grounds on which they are filed. The state recognizes both no-fault and fault-based grounds for divorce: 

  • No-fault grounds: Requires a separation period. Couples must live separately and apart for at least one year. If they have a written separation agreement and no minor children, this period can be reduced to six months. 

  • Fault-based grounds: These might include adultery, cruelty (physical or mental abuse), desertion, or a felony conviction with imprisonment of more than one year. Fault-based grounds often lead to contested divorces, which can extend the timeline. 

The type of divorce you file can also impact the timeline. Virginia recognizes two primary types of divorce: 

  • Uncontested divorce: Both parties agree on all terms, including property division, child custody, and support. This type is usually quicker and less expensive.  

  • Contested divorce: Parties do not agree on one or more terms, requiring court intervention. This type often takes longer and can be more costly due to legal fees and court costs. 

Whether your divorce is contested or uncontested, there are opportunities for your ex-partner to drag out the process. If your ex is struggling with unresolved feelings of anger or hostility, or even if they simply want to exert control, they may intentionally prolong the divorce by delaying proceedings. This could involve not signing documents, failing to appear at court dates, or engaging in continuous disputes over minor issues. Such tactics can significantly elongate the divorce process, making it more stressful for everyone involved. 

What to Expect in a Prolonged Divorce in Virginia

A divorce in Virginia involves several steps, and when the process is prolonged, there can be even more. The standard divorce process will include: 

  • Filing the complaint: Initiate the divorce by filing a complaint with the Circuit Court that outlines your grounds for divorce and any requests regarding custody, support, or property division. 

  • Service of process: After filing, you'll serve your spouse with the divorce papers.  

  • Response: Your spouse must respond to the complaint, usually within 21 days. They can either agree with the terms or contest them, which could lead to a prolonged process. 

  • Discovery: During discovery, both parties exchange information relevant to the divorce, including financial documents, assets, and debts.  

  • Mediation and settlement negotiations: Mediation involves a neutral third party who helps the spouses reach an agreement on contested issues like child custody, support, and property division.  

  • Trial: If mediation and negotiations fail, the case goes to trial. A judge will hear evidence from both sides and make decisions on unresolved matters.  

  • Final Decree of Divorce: Once all issues are resolved, either through settlement or trial, the court will issue a final decree of divorce. This document officially ends the marriage and outlines the terms of the divorce, including custody arrangements, support obligations, and property division. 

If your ex is dragging out the divorce, you can expect the following: 

  • Multiple court hearings: Several court appearances may be necessary to resolve disputes.  

  • Mediation or settlement conferences: Opportunities to negotiate and potentially reach an agreement outside of court 

  • Trial: If no settlement is reached, a trial will determine unresolved issues 

Opportunities for Disputes and Delays in the Divorce Process 

Some of the factors that frequently cause delays and disputes in the divorce process include: 

  • Child custody: Determining custody arrangements can be contentious and emotionally charged 

  • Property division: Disagreements over the division of marital assets and debts can prolong the process 

  • Financial disclosure: Hidden assets or financial disputes can also delay the process 

These delays can lead to increased legal fees and extended periods of uncertainty, adding to the already high stress levels. 

The Toll on Emotions and Finances 

A prolonged divorce takes an emotional toll. The constant uncertainty and conflict can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion. It's not just draining for the individuals involved but also for any children who may be caught in the middle. 

The financial impact of a dragged-out divorce can be substantial. Legal fees accumulate, and the division of assets remains unresolved, leading to financial instability. Additionally, one might have to continue supporting the other spouse financially, further straining resources. 

Strategies for Moving Forward 

Gordon recommends a proactive approach to handle a prolonged divorce. This involves staying organized, documenting all communications, and being prepared for court appearances. The goal is to maintain a strong position and avoid falling into the traps set by a stalling ex-spouse. 

While emotions can run high, trying to negotiate calmly and reasonably can sometimes expedite the process. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them can prevent further delays. 

The Role of a Divorce Lawyer

Having experienced legal counsel like Gordon can make a significant difference. A knowledgeable divorce attorney can expedite the process, protect your interests, and provide the necessary support to help you through this challenging time. They can also file motions to compel action from the dragging party, helping the process move forward. 

A skilled divorce attorney can mitigate the stress and extended timelines of a prolonged divorce by providing: 

  • Guidance and strategy: Providing valuable guidance on legal rights, strategy, and the best course of action 

  • Documentation and filing: Confirming that all documents are correctly prepared and filed 

  • Negotiation and mediation: Skilled negotiation can help settle disputes more amicably and quickly 

  • Court representation: Representing your interests in court and advocating for fair outcomes 

Reach Out for Legal Support in Your Virginia Divorce

Going through a divorce is never easy, and it becomes even more challenging when an ex-spouse drags out the process.

Understanding the legal dynamics, managing the emotional and financial toll, and employing effective strategies can help you move forward. E. Gordon Peters, Jr., Attorney at Law, is committed to providing the guidance and support needed to resolve such issues efficiently. 

If you’re dealing with a prolonged divorce, seeking legal advice can help you mitigate the delays, stress, and disputes. Contact E. Gordon Peters, Jr., to schedule a consultation and take proactive steps toward resolution.